Modern Drunkard Magazine

Gift Tips Whenever you open a non-liquor gift, loudly proclaim, “Oh, great, how the fuck am I supposed to drink this?” They'll know what to get...

Drink Like a Grown-Up By The League of Extraordinary Drinkers Truer Title: Drink Like a Smug Hipster The book starts out well enough— raising a hue and...

Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning, that they may follow strong drink; that continue until night, till wine inflame them!...

“The United States of America” has always been a misnomer. “States of America,” yes. “United?” Well… In the sense that we’re all stuck together, that...

When I mentioned to a stranger that this magazine was about to celebrate its tenth year in publication, he reacted with violent dismay.   “Ten years?”...

Ode to Dionysus O Dionysus, greatest and best Your mercy shall forever last Your justice will never fail On your endowments, civilizations rest 4 An inferior faith, baptism once...

Long thought the figment of sailors’ over-active imaginations, recent studies have proven the existence of savvy primates who know how to make fermented brew...

“There are no gentlemen in Denver,” my mentor Giles Humbert III said, “thus there are no gentlemen’s clubs.” “Sure there are,” I said. “The phone book...

Does a drink cadged from a stranger taste far superior to one earned by the sweat of your brow? Are you immune to the slightest...

The Barstool Hunker This popular move (though there’s not much actual moving involved) is usually practiced in dives that cater to regulars. How it’s done: First...

   

Inebriation is, as we all know, a pretty goddamn good time. It puts a spin on the world — physically and metaphorically — and opens...

Writer, producer and star of Fox’s Invasion of the Hidden Cameras and a regular guest on the Howard Stern Show and Spy-TV, Doug Stanhope...

“Hey, slop jaw, quit boozgarting the felony juice so we can finish frontloading and get our fade on.” Confused? You should be. Bar slang is...

In the turbulent spring of 1970, Richard Nixon had recently sent 50,000 troops into Cambodia, the U.S. Congress had just dumped the nomination of...

So I got a little roughed up last time. You can’t just sit there and lick your wounds all night. What you do is pour...

The Nutty Professor (1963) Dir: Jerry Lewis/Wr: Jerry Lewis & Bill Richmond If asked to list the greatest alky films of all time, most critics would...

If you read enough of the historical articles in this publication you   might start getting the idea that women didn’t used to drink. Which...

On a lanky, man-shaped landmass just off the western coast of Florida, sandwiched between the massive Gulf of Mexico and Little Sarasota Bay, chaos...

Every dedicated drinker knows what they’re really doing it for. It’s not our health — it’s training. You know what I’m talking about. Some freaks...