Today's Reason to Drink

Articles

The Etiquette of Vomiting

Vomiting is one of those subjects people often try to graze over when discussing drinking. They prefer to center on the glamorous aspects of...

Drink Your Way to Health! Workout Secrets

Do your friends call you a fat drunken slob? Do you wake up in the afternoon and drink out of shame? Well stop drinking out...

Hello! My Name is Pancho

Hello! My name is Pancho. I have come to spit up on your carpet. Hello! My name is Pancho These are my friends. They like your beer, And...

The Morning After

This Public Service Announcement, and accompanying literary dramatization, is brought to you by Active Alcoholics, or AA. We are aware that you may have...
Adventures with Alcohol

Adventures with Alcohol: Genetically Predisposed

I’m in a pub in Malta, full of retired British men passing the evening the proper way. I sit on a tall bar stool...
Rory Mack's The Hell You Say

The Hell You Say: Brutally Honest Reviews of All Things Boozed

Drink Like a Grown-Up By The League of Extraordinary Drinkers Truer Title: Drink Like a Smug Hipster The book starts out well enough— raising a hue and...

Local Only

It’s a little after ten in the morning on a Saturday, I’ve just retrieved a bucket of ice, and the phone rings. I set the...

Nectar of the Gods

When the white god Viracocha mysteriously appeared in South America, he taught the people he met all the “arts of civilization”: astronomy, geometry, agriculture...

Ten Reasons Why the GABF Sucks

1.) The One-Ounce Pours You cannot grasp the character of a beer from a one-ounce pour. It's akin to licking a steak. Furthermore, even if...

Tis the Season to Get Falling Down Drunk

Gift Tips Whenever you open a non-liquor gift, loudly proclaim, “Oh, great, how the fuck am I supposed to drink this?” They'll know what to get...
The Great Eggnog Riot

The Great Eggnog Riot

Sylvanus Thayer—whose name sounds like a lizard-rat-man hybrid Lord Voldemort would keep caged for dark-magic rape rituals—took command of West Point in 1817. Within a...

Urban Legends of Alcohol

THE RUMOR Workers at the Corona brewery in Mexico urinate in the beer vats.     False. This persistent rumor started in the mid-1980s and spread like...

The House of Good Cheer

The perennial comic strip “Andy Capp” has recently been banished from the Washington Post as an evil influence, and small wonder. In Andy’s world there...

You Spill–We Kill!

I staggered through the gauntlet of scantily-clad tribeswomen and their brutal staffs rained down like the Devil's own hailstorm. I gritted my teeth against...
Quest for the Perfect Cocktail

The Quest for the Perfect Cocktail

The legendary libation was allegedly devised by an 18th-century alchemist/adventurer named Marquis Ferdinand D’Etatis, the very same ‘Mad Marquis’ who led the famous grog...

Better Living Through Alcohol

If you are reading MDM, you are probably already a brother of mine. Here I urge you to spread your faith. We have many...

Columns and Regular Features

Modern Drunkard Video

Booze-Soaked Fiction

Adventures with Alcohol

All the Pretty Pictures

How To Articles

Drunkards of the Issue

Inebriate Interviews

Clash of the Tightest

The Great Drunks

Historical Hooching