Modern Drunkard Magazine | Standing Up for Your Right to Get Falling Down Drunk Since 1996.

Today's Reason to Drink

On this day in 1982, the hit sitcom Cheers debuted. It was the bar that no one ever really got drunk at. Still, it was good fun, especially when Norm was on hand. Norm had a fine understanding of his place in the world—the stool at the end of the bar. He never met a beer he didn’t drink and refused to let his lack of gainful employment get in the way of a good time—by the time the show went off the air his bar tab was sometimes mistaken for a phone book. Norm’s responses to the bartender’s daily greetings have become the stuff of legend. Here’s a sample: “How’s a beer sound, Norm?” “I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.” “What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?” “Going Down?” “What’s new, Normie?” “Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach and they’re demanding beer.” “What would you say to a beer, Normie?” “Daddy wuvs you.” “What’s the story, Mr. Peterson?” “The Bobsey Twins Go To The Brewery. Let’s cut to the happy ending.” “How’s it going, Mr. Peterson?” “Poor.” “I’m sorry to hear that.” “No, I mean pour.” “Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?” “Alright, but stop me at one….make that one-thirty.” “Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?” “A little early, isn’t it, Woody?” “For a beer?” “No, for stupid questions.”

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Today's Reason to Drink

Articles

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Booze-Soaked Fiction

Adventures with Alcohol

All the Pretty Pictures

How To Articles

Drunkards of the Issue

Inebriate Interviews

Clash of the Tightest

The Great Drunks

Historical Hooching