Today's Reason to Drink

Articles

Ode To Dionysus

Ode to Dionysus O Dionysus, greatest and best Your mercy shall forever last Your justice will never fail On your endowments, civilizations rest 4 An inferior faith, baptism once...

The Morning After

This Public Service Announcement, and accompanying literary dramatization, is brought to you by Active Alcoholics, or AA. We are aware that you may have...

The Art of the Lost Weekend

Weekends were once the sovereign territory of the working stiff. Every tick and tock between the Friday exodus and Monday was consecrated ground, where a...

The Etiquette of Vomiting

Vomiting is one of those subjects people often try to graze over when discussing drinking. They prefer to center on the glamorous aspects of...

A Powerful Stillness

“The martini,” Dr. Giorgio Lolli wrote in his seminal 1960 book Social Drinking, “conveys the impression of a powerful stillness.” A mix of gin and...
Waiting for the Punch

Waiting for the Punch

Act One “Mr. Talbot wants to talk to you.” “What for? I haven’t done anything.” “He’s waiting for you right now.” A half-empty pint of vodka sat on...

Got Kymyz?

From Tatarstan to Kyrgyzstan to Tuva, in what used to be the great thirsty interior of the Soviet Union, Central Asian nomads have the...

So You Want to Write a Cocktail Guide!

Good for you! But be aware that there is already a massive, ever-growing zombie horde of cocktail guides out there, so you'll need a fresh...

Etiquette for Inebriates: Modern Manners for Modern Drunkards

Problem: While “inventorying” a roommate’s possessions, you innocently stumble upon a hidden bottle of liquor. Solution: You may assume that your roommate was hiding the...

In Praise of Day Drinking

Mention being in a bar at 7:00 a.m. and the average person recoils in horror as his mind conjures up images of an ancient...

Drunkard Rights Watch

Report Violations to: [email protected] Alcohol-Detecting Shackle All the Rage An ankle bracelet that samples the wearer's perspiration for alcohol content once an hour is being used...
Guinness Tester!

In Dry Dubai They Call Me Guinness Tester!

From 2002 to 2003, I was a Guinness-tester in Dubai. My official title was Stout Evaluative Engineer (SEE), though after a few hours of SEE-ing...

Bout 4: Blackbeard the Pirate Vs. Truman Capote

Who is the greatest boozer of all time? We've posed that question before. In 2002 we  resurrected 16 of the history's hardest-pounding hoochers and squared them...

Take Me to Your Liquor!

Modern Drunkard: Thanks for coming to Denver for this chat. Tom Tierry: I was flying down here anyway. MD: You flew? TT: Yes. MD: In a...

Rummy Royalty

Modern Drunkard: You are a hobo, sir! Soup Bone: That I am. MD: An actual hobo. SB: That’s right. MD: But no ordinary hobo. You are...
Van Gogh

Drinking with Van Gogh

My guest arrived early. A mere nine days after I'd placed my order with an online absinthe supplier, my package—deftly slipping through the hands of...

Columns and Regular Features

Modern Drunkard Video

Booze-Soaked Fiction

Adventures with Alcohol

All the Pretty Pictures

How To Articles

Drunkards of the Issue

Inebriate Interviews

Clash of the Tightest

The Great Drunks

Historical Hooching