Today's Reason to Drink

Articles

The Blackness

Rick. Rick, get up. Hunh? What time is it? It’s 6:30. You have to make your tee time. Are you crazy? I feel like there is...

Come Fly With Me!

I Come fly with me, we’ll fly, we’ll fly away If you can use some exotic booze There’s a bar in far Bombay On September 30th, 1968, the...

Tis the Season to Get Falling Down Drunk

Gift Tips Whenever you open a non-liquor gift, loudly proclaim, “Oh, great, how the fuck am I supposed to drink this?” They'll know what to get...

The 12 Staggering Steps

The major difference between a drunk and an alcoholic, as the saying goes, is we drunks don’t go to meetings. Oh, we may go...

Drunkard’s Dozen

The Eye Opener Rehumanize Yourself Good morning! How's your head? What's that? You'd like it surgically removed and replaced with a beach ball? No need to go...

The Boys In The Back

This year Friday the 13th passed effortlessly into Valentine's Day in a seedy pub on the Lower East Side. A quiet smoke-easy that puts a...

A Powerful Stillness

“The martini,” Dr. Giorgio Lolli wrote in his seminal 1960 book Social Drinking, “conveys the impression of a powerful stillness.” A mix of gin and...

Seven Habits of Highly Effective Drunks

In the vast time I’ve spent attempting to drive my liver from my body like a wounded mastodon flushed over a cliff by a...

Hangover House

I clamber to my feet and stretch. Not in a “rise and shine” kind of way, but more of a “did I sleep in a...

Teetotaler Spotting Guide

 Religious Nutjobus Characteristics: While their plumage is usually well-preened, this Dry moves in a strangely stiff and awkward manner. Don't let his aggressively friendly smile...

You Spill–We Kill!

I staggered through the gauntlet of scantily-clad tribeswomen and their brutal staffs rained down like the Devil's own hailstorm. I gritted my teeth against...

Got Kymyz?

From Tatarstan to Kyrgyzstan to Tuva, in what used to be the great thirsty interior of the Soviet Union, Central Asian nomads have the...

After Hours

“I've got some booze at my place.” That's how it begins. You're sitting there at last call, ready to stagger away from the bonfire of...

8 Hours in a Barroom

5:45 pm You’ll just stop in the bar for a quick one after work. 6:10 pm Just one more beer to relieve the stress. I...

Episode 1: Absinthe with Shorts McGraw

Your hosts: Frank Kelly Rich (Founder and Editor of MDM) and Nick Plumber (Poetry Editor and Travel Writer for MDM). Special guest: Shorts McGraw. Featuring: Why...

Columns and Regular Features

Modern Drunkard Video

Booze-Soaked Fiction

Adventures with Alcohol

All the Pretty Pictures

How To Articles

Drunkards of the Issue

Inebriate Interviews

Clash of the Tightest

The Great Drunks

Historical Hooching