Modern Drunkard Magazine

Rick. Rick, get up. Hunh? What time is it? It’s 6:30. You have to make your tee time. Are you crazy? I feel like there is...

I Come fly with me, we’ll fly, we’ll fly away If you can use some exotic booze There’s a bar in far Bombay On September 30th, 1968, the...

Gift Tips Whenever you open a non-liquor gift, loudly proclaim, “Oh, great, how the fuck am I supposed to drink this?” They'll know what to get...

The major difference between a drunk and an alcoholic, as the saying goes, is we drunks don’t go to meetings. Oh, we may go...

The Eye Opener Rehumanize Yourself Good morning! How's your head? What's that? You'd like it surgically removed and replaced with a beach ball? No need to go...

This year Friday the 13th passed effortlessly into Valentine's Day in a seedy pub on the Lower East Side. A quiet smoke-easy that puts a...

“The martini,” Dr. Giorgio Lolli wrote in his seminal 1960 book Social Drinking, “conveys the impression of a powerful stillness.” A mix of gin and...

In the vast time I’ve spent attempting to drive my liver from my body like a wounded mastodon flushed over a cliff by a...

I clamber to my feet and stretch. Not in a “rise and shine” kind of way, but more of a “did I sleep in a...

 Religious Nutjobus Characteristics: While their plumage is usually well-preened, this Dry moves in a strangely stiff and awkward manner. Don't let his aggressively friendly smile...

I staggered through the gauntlet of scantily-clad tribeswomen and their brutal staffs rained down like the Devil's own hailstorm. I gritted my teeth against...

From Tatarstan to Kyrgyzstan to Tuva, in what used to be the great thirsty interior of the Soviet Union, Central Asian nomads have the...

“I've got some booze at my place.” That's how it begins. You're sitting there at last call, ready to stagger away from the bonfire of...

5:45 pm You’ll just stop in the bar for a quick one after work. 6:10 pm Just one more beer to relieve the stress. I...

Your hosts: Frank Kelly Rich (Founder and Editor of MDM) and Nick Plumber (Poetry Editor and Travel Writer for MDM). Special guest: Shorts McGraw. Featuring: Why...