Modern Drunkard Magazine

Rick. Rick, get up. Hunh? What time is it? It’s 6:30. You have to make your tee time. Are you crazy? I feel like there is...

You’re an idiot. Maybe you know it, maybe you don’t. Maybe you’ve heard it from dozens of people, but you were kinda drunk at the...

Built by drunk miners and called home by some of America’s most famous hoochers, the City by the Bay possesses a rich history steeped...

Medals Blackout Brigade Medal of Merit Motto: “I won’t remember you.” Long after lesser drunks have staggered off to bed, these valorous boozers shout: “Yes, I will...

Alcohol is much more than a sure cure for sobriety. Cast a gaze back into the mists of history and you'll see wine, beer and...

Try to picture Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe without free and frequent access to the hard stuff, and your mind’s eye is likely to...

The Striding Man All Dressed Up and Somewhere to Go Johnnie Walker Scotch Whisky Johnnie Walker's first foray into print advertising left something to be desired: the...

The beer so strong they don’t even call it beer — they call it liquor. The brew from the bad part of town, the staple...

Disneyland is billed as The Happiest Place on Earth; and it’s happier still when you’ve had a bottle or two of fine wine. Growing up...

Sylvanus Thayer—whose name sounds like a lizard-rat-man hybrid Lord Voldemort would keep caged for dark-magic rape rituals—took command of West Point in 1817. Within a...

Why do you drink so much? Circular: I’m trying to make up for your disgraceful lack of effort. Compassionate: With the economy the way it is,...

In the early 60s Woody Woodbury reigned as the High Priest of Liquor Culture. His headquarters was a famous watering hole in Fort Liquordale (Fort...

The Tortoise and the Hare (And the Dog That Never Bit Him) One day the Tortoise woke up and looked out his window and saw a...

And then there were eight. The field has been cut in half, some of history’s finest boozers have fallen to the wayside like so many...

You can’t pump your fist in the air to rock favorites forever, although Lord knows, some boomers and busters will try.   There are those who...

I’m in a pub in Malta, full of retired British men passing the evening the proper way. I sit on a tall bar stool...

“Only winos drink on Sundays.” Offered to partake on the Sabbath, Viddi Golbranson would take offence, although he   put in an appearance at The...

September 1 Labor Day. “A person can work up a mean mean thirst after a hard day of nothin’ much.” —Replacements. Working Man’s Zinfandel 2 oz tequila 2...