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The War on Booze

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The War on Booze is nothing new. We're all familiar with the reign of terror called Prohibition. Going further back, temperance leagues have scolded and...

The Sum of All Beers

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It's early Sunday morning and I don't know who I am. I don't mean that in any existential kind of way. I mean I don't...

The Lost Art of Staggering

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Staggering, I mean really staggering, is rapidly becoming a lost art. In fact, in this modern PC world, the only one who appreciates a good...

Confessions of a Jack Lawyer

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Lawyers and drinking have held hands since the early history of the nation and that tradition continues with my friend and colleague, a lawyer...

The Heroes Of Hooch

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Few subjects have inspired artists like intoxication. Some works celebrate sozzlers, propping us on a dais for a little while, displayed at our hiccupy...

The Perfect Martini (and How to Make It)

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The creation of a perfect martini is no great mystery. Once the process to produce one is learned, a perfect martini can be made over...
Buckfast

Pass the Buckie

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Maligned, despised, and nearly banned in Scotland. Buckfast Tonic Wine had a rare moment of glory on May 14th, 2016­—the first World Buckfast Day. A...
This River Runs Wild

This River Runs Wild

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Nothing goes together quite like alcohol and open water. Maybe it has something to do with the sense of weightlessness. When I was a kid,...

40 Things Every Drunkard Should Do Before He Dies

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A man is, ultimately, the sum of his accomplishments. Each culture, of course, has a different idea as to what rates as an accomplishment. Muslims,...
The Great Eggnog Riot

The Great Eggnog Riot

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Sylvanus Thayer—whose name sounds like a lizard-rat-man hybrid Lord Voldemort would keep caged for dark-magic rape rituals—took command of West Point in 1817. Within a...

Lush For Life

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If you’re a good boy and wait until you’re 21 to start boozing, and reach the life expectancy of an average American, you’re looking...

Urban Legends of Alcohol

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THE RUMOR Workers at the Corona brewery in Mexico urinate in the beer vats.     False. This persistent rumor started in the mid-1980s and spread like...

Boozing Through a Break Up

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Well, here you are. It's over. It's probably been coming for some time, but being the romantic sap that you are, you thought you could...

Drunk Talk: The New Crop of Bar Slang

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500 lb. hitchhiker a patron who is being deliberately ignored by a bartender or waitress. bar magnet  the invisible force that makes it nearly impossible...

Columns and Regular Features

Modern Drunkard Video

Booze-Soaked Fiction

Adventures with Alcohol

All the Pretty Pictures

How To Articles

Drunkards of the Issue

Inebriate Interviews

Clash of the Tightest

The Great Drunks

Historical Hooching