Today's Reason to Drink
Articles
Best Bar Moves
The Barstool Hunker
This popular move (though there’s not much actual moving involved) is usually practiced in dives that cater to regulars.
How it’s done: First...
Agave Empire: Three Centuries of Drinking in Mexico
Among seasoned drinkers, Mexico has attained something of a Mecca-like status. The country is so big (larger, in fact, than California, Oregon and Washington...
The Drinking Dead, Part 1: The Lounge at the End of the World
When you pass out beneath the pool table of Lou’s Last Chance Lounge, you don’t need to set an alarm clock.
Roger, our most regular...
Czech Your Liver at the Border
Ian Stewart is not the type of guy who drinks to forget.
But for this British software designer, it only took one night, three shots,...
Soused Cinema: Movie Reviews
The Nutty Professor (1963)
Dir: Jerry Lewis/Wr: Jerry Lewis & Bill Richmond
If asked to list the greatest alky films of all time, most critics would...
The 86 Rules of Boozing
1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
2. Always toast before doing a shot.
3. Whoever...
Hooch And the Hunt
There’s a rite of passage I was fortunate enough to experience as a boy on my way to becoming a man.
This ritual educated me...
You Don’t Know Jack Daniel
As most savvy drinkers are by now aware, Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7 is no longer with us.
It has been knifed in the...
Watch Me As I Fall
Leering men, sweaty and bloated, shoved bills at her.
I hated them. They didn't deserve to look at her, to throw money at her. She...
Blackout Like You Mean It
“Dude, I have never laughed as hard as I did last night when you intentionally vomited on that couple in the booth.”
“Couple?”
“Don’t you remember?...
Boozer’s Burden
“You should be very careful when drinking. It is very easy to become an alcoholic.”
Variations on that theme seem to endlessly echo through a...
Rise Of the Dives
Night falls on San Francisco's bustling North Beach district as tourists, flesh peddlers and hipsters troll the sidewalks beneath an ashen sky.
I maneuver past...
Solutions to All of Life’s Problems
The Problem
The Drink
The Solution
You lost your job.
Brutal Hammer
1 part cheapest vodka
1 part cheapest burgundy
Cynically throw in
a few ice cubes.
Drink ten of these and pass...
Teetering Above It All
Every dedicated drinker knows what they’re really doing it for. It’s not our health — it’s training.
You know what I’m talking about. Some freaks...
Bout 13: Hemingway Vs. Gleason & Bout 14: Bukowski Vs. Faulkner
Who's the greatest boozer of all time?
The Contenders
Humphrey Bogart 20-1
Charles Bukowski 8-1
Richard Burton 40-1
Lord Byron 30-1
Winston Churchill 6-1
William Faulkner 10-1
W.C. Fields 3-1
F. Scott Fitzgerald...
The Faded Glory of the Martini Lunch
Winston Churchill, bolstered by gin martinis, outlasted the Luftwaffe.
James Bond typically enjoyed a martini while on the clock, right before pummeling an extra into...
On a Bender in Mayberry
The Andy Griffith Show is widely considered one of the most innocent and endearing television shows of all times.
Yet drunkenness and moonshining were major...
40 Ounces of Fury!
The beer so strong they don’t even call it beer — they call it liquor.
The brew from the bad part of town, the staple...
Urban Legends of Alcohol
THE RUMOR
Workers at the Corona brewery in Mexico urinate in the beer vats.
False. This persistent rumor started in the mid-1980s and spread like...