Modern Drunkard Magazine

Hello! My name is Pancho. I have come to spit up on your carpet. Hello! My name is Pancho These are my friends. They like your beer, And...

Former Police Officer Tim Stone doesn’t look like the kind of cop you want to get pulled over by when you’ve been drinking deep...

It is generally assumed that the drunk is an animal of the night. That we are to be found prowling the dark jungle of dives...

What happens when a person loses consciousness from consuming large doses of alcohol? What are the dos and don’ts of a black out? How do...

During my sophomore year of college I enrolled in a course entitled Modern Sub-Saharan Africa. Despite the impressive title, the course consisted of one...

A hip flask is a container for liquor like a Molotov cocktail is a bottle for gasoline. If you've carried the former or hurled the...

When you pass out beneath the pool table of Lou’s Last Chance Lounge, you don’t need to set an alarm clock. Roger, our most regular...

 

Does a drink cadged from a stranger taste far superior to one earned by the sweat of your brow? Are you immune to the slightest...

A man is, ultimately, the sum of his accomplishments. Each culture, of course, has a different idea as to what rates as an accomplishment. Muslims,...

I was drunk most of the time I was directing the picture. The filming went well for the first few days and then a...

Well, here you are. It's over. It's probably been coming for some time, but being the romantic sap that you are, you thought you could...

Make no mistake— Captain Kirk and his crew were cowboys and they treated the universe like the Wild West. There was always a lot of...

The Fifth Legion is on the march. They move at a fast trot beneath a beggar's moon, gladius swords in hand, their armor rattling in...

To be a successful tournament poker player it helps not to care about money. If you need the money, if you might not drink...

Lawyers and drinking have held hands since the early history of the nation and that tradition continues with my friend and colleague, a lawyer...

Medals Blackout Brigade Medal of Merit Motto: “I won’t remember you.” Long after lesser drunks have staggered off to bed, these valorous boozers shout: “Yes, I will...

Do your friends call you a fat drunken slob? Do you wake up in the afternoon and drink out of shame? Well stop drinking out...