TODAY'S REASON TO DRINK

IN THIS ISSUE

Articles

All That Jazz

Come on boys, I know a whoopie spot Where the gin is cold And the piano is hot. It’s just a noisy hall Where there’s a nightly brawl. And all...

Booze on the Brain

Intoxication causes horrific damage to the entire community, or so say members of the prohibitionist movement across the globe. From MADD, to Islamic totalitarians, to...

Bar Vamp Secrets Revealed!

You've see her: Sitting alone at the end of the bar, forlorn, dangerous, vulnerable and predatory. Her mixed signals fan out in judgment-jamming waves, perplexing...

Cold War Cocktails

Try to imagine a bar frequented only by star-crossed lovers. A watering hole inhabited by couples doomed never to share each other's lives —...

Edgar’s Monday: A Poem by Jason R. Spillman

Once upon a work day dreary Throbbing head and liver weary I contemplated work days I had felt like this before The sour taste of excess dwelling On...

The Good, the Bad, and the Thirsty

With the exception of a few goofy teetotalers, in the average Old West town you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting a serious...

Teetotaler Spotting Guide

 Religious Nutjobus Characteristics: While their plumage is usually well-preened, this Dry moves in a strangely stiff and awkward manner. Don't let his aggressively friendly smile...

Girl, Crazy

One passed out on the sofa; one dancing like a fool, his shirt off; one clutching the remote for dear life as the Cartoon...

Boozing in the Big Leagues

Forget mom. Forget apple pie. The game of baseball is the single most recognizable symbol of our national heritage and character. For well over a...

The Heroes Of Hooch

Few subjects have inspired artists like intoxication. Some works celebrate sozzlers, propping us on a dais for a little while, displayed at our hiccupy...

Drunkard Rights Watch: #52

Report Violations to: [email protected] Alcohol-Detecting Shackle All the Rage An ankle bracelet that samples the wearer's perspiration for alcohol content once an hour is being...

The Art Of Getting 86’d

We all hate that guy. You know who I’m talking about: The guy who tries to make time with your girlfriend, knocks over your drink,...

Columns and Regular Features

Modern Drunkard Video

Booze-Soaked Fiction

Adventures with Alcohol

All the Pretty Pictures

How To Articles

Drunkards of the Issue

Inebriate Interviews

Clash of the Tightest

The Great Drunks

Historical Hooching