Modern Drunkard's Field Guide to Drinking with a Mask

TODAY'S REASON TO DRINK

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Articles

Dive Bar Confidential

“You’re only as good as the bars they let you drink in.” I don’t remember who muttered those words, or in what dive, or how...
Clash of the Tightest

The Finals: Gleason Vs. Bukowski

Who's the greatest boozer of all time? Sixteen supreme drunks dove into a sea of booze eight months ago, bent on determining exactly who should...

Cheers! A Short History of the Toast

As much as we might sling around the phrase “Judeo-Christian,” most of us are pagans at heart. Scratch modernity, find paganism lurking underneath. Take toasts,...
Six Circles of Hangover Hill

The Six Circles of Hangover Hell

1st Circle: The Ducked Bullet No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep was deep and all those carbo-loaded beers have gifted you...

Palace of the Drunkard

Remember running through the streets, drunk on whiskey vomiting from the joint smoked at the taxi queue, stealing newspapers at dawn it was my birthday you were there but— I...

Taking Back Bacchus

Our lives are rooted in context. Our beguilingly adaptive brains make us situational beings. A joke is funny today that wouldn’t be tomorrow or yesterday....

The House of Good Cheer

The perennial comic strip “Andy Capp” has recently been banished from the Washington Post as an evil influence, and small wonder. In Andy’s world there...

Blackout Like You Mean It

“Dude, I have never laughed as hard as I did last night when you intentionally vomited on that couple in the booth.” “Couple?” “Don’t you remember?...
Adventures with Alcohol

Modern Drunkard Survival Guide

HOW TO SURVIVE AN A.A. MEETING 1.) Do not make eye contact. If you do, make sure your eyes do not flicker toward the flask...

Local Only

It’s a little after ten in the morning on a Saturday, I’ve just retrieved a bucket of ice, and the phone rings. I set the...

What’s the Word? Thunderbird!

What's the word? Thunderbird! How's it sold? Good and cold. What's the jive? Bird's alive. What's the price? Thirty twice. —1957 radio jingle Maverick, Silver Satin, Triple Jack:...

Postcards from Skid Row #61

Full moon moonshine Drank got drunk stumbling beneath the blurry pair of pale faced moons. Sip your gloom away the screaming crowd cries swaying. Slouch down in...

A Is For…

Have you ever noticed that every great drinking story begins with the same word? This word takes you from Point A to Point B of...

Madman About Town: Kingsley Amis

Kingsley Amis did not care what people thought of his drinking. He was a grand old man of English letters, a comic master, recipient of...

Columns and Regular Features

Modern Drunkard Video

Booze-Soaked Fiction

Adventures with Alcohol

All the Pretty Pictures

How To Articles

Drunkards of the Issue

Inebriate Interviews

Clash of the Tightest

The Great Drunks

Historical Hooching