"Captain Morgan is long overdue for a promotion to Major… or Admiral… or whatever. Something where you salute him a lot." That Wino Wisdom is courtesy of @Dear_Booze on Twitter.

“I’m supposed to be at work. But then, if I were at work, I’d supposed to be here.” That's Chuck exploring alternate realities while day-drinking at Brendan’s Pub.

“It’s okay to slur your words if you can still stand up. If I’m not a man of my word, I’m not a man of anything.”That Wino Wisdom is courtesy of a slurring gent using his back to hold up an exterior wall of the Mutiny Bookstore.

“I wanted to tell you something. You have very beautiful hands. I wish you were working.” That Wino Wisdom is courtesy of an elderly gentleman attempting to chat up the day bartender while the night bartender firmly escorts him out of the Satire Lounge.

“I’ve no idea why I’m so drunk. I’ve no horse in this fight. I must like horse fights.” That Wino Wisdom is courtesy of a libertarian getting caught up in the churning waters of partisan politics at Three Kings Tavern.

“Whose round is it? Can’t be mine already, I bought one four drinks ago. Who’s the fifth guy? Where is he? Step up to the plate! Fifth man up!” That's George T., searching for the ever-elusive fifth man in the shadows of the Streets of London Pub, not comprehending the fifth man is, after all, all of us.

“I’m afraid of three things: Women, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability to hurt me and make it look like it was my fault.”That's Gil H. summing up his fears at Auntie Mae’s Parlor in Manhattan, Kansas.

“If you want something you’ll have to speak up.  I can understand Drunk all day long but I’m not fluent in Shit Head.” That's a waitress named Stacy giving a brief linguistics lesson to a belligerent and mumbling patron.

“How do you look when I’m sober?” That's Ring L. postulating a question to a gent with a strikingly eccentric hair style.

“I drink because I prefer the company of drunks, and they don’t like sober people hanging around, making faces.”That Wino Wisdom is courtesy of Tim M. who was making sure no one felt uncomfortable at the Lion’s Lair Lounge.