It’s Chuck Norris’s birthday. He’s 80. When Chuck Norris drinks whiskey, he doesn’t get drunk. The whiskey gets Chuck Norrised. Whenever Chuck Norris crosses state lines, that state’s official flower is bourbon. There are over 1500 cocktails named after Chuck Norris, but their ingredients are secret because only Chuck Norris is allowed to drink them. Never ask for “a round on the house” near Chuck Norris because he thinks that’s just a fancy way of asking him to roundhouse kick you in the face.
