On this day in 1888, Marvin C. Stone patented the drinking straw. Now, drinking straws were certainly in use before then. The Ancient Egyptians used them to drink their beer without getting a mouth full of sediment. Mr. Stone just came up with the idea of making them out of paper. Personally, I don’t like using straws when drinking cocktails. I think they steal from the experience, and let’s face it, drinking from a straw is what children and Ancient Egyptians do. That said, you will get drunk faster if you drink with a straw. Why so? Because tests have shown that people drink everything faster when using a straw. It’s simply a more hydrodynamically efficient way to put liquids in your body. Recommended drink: The Face Eraser. Into a low ball glass with ice, slowly pour in 1 and a half ounces each of coffee liqueur, Amaretto, and vodka, then top with 3/4 of an ounce of club soda or Sprite or whatever. Do not stir. Drop a straw in and drink from the bottom of the glass in one go. If you don’t have Amaretto on hand, you can skip it and just have a Mind Eraser. Word to the wise: these creep up on you fast. For more ways and reasons to erase your mind, head on over to drunkard.com, and if you want a dose of booze news, point your screen at our sister site brutal hammer dot com.