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Secrets of Barroom Photography


The Bird
The most popular of bar poses, this gesture simply states: “I am at odds with the world, and nor do I care for your fancy camera.” If you wish to add a worldliness to the pose, employ the two-finger English variation.


Bet they didn’t know you were down wit’ a gang. Yo! Southside Telemarketing Posse in da house! Don’t be frontin’ or we be callin’ yo’ asses at dinna time!


Crazy Devil Eyes
This look says: “Watch out! I am evil incarnate!” Make your eyes really big (as if you were peering deep into their mortal soul) and tilt your head back a little like you’re gonna strike like some kind of kooky satanic cobra. You are so spooky, dude!


You Da Man
Just because the camera is pointed at you doesn’t me you can’t share the spotlight. Sometimes you gotta give props to your fools and what better way than this classic.


Mack Daddy
You got it going on, holmes, and you got to show it. Get at least two hot babes on your arms, tilt your head to the floor then pow!: Give the lens a smoldering up-from-under street-pimp glower.


Satan Rocks
You’re down with the Dark Lord and you must give him props. You can accentuate your diabolicalness by throwing in The Crazy Devil Eyes.


Look, I Have a Drink
Yes, but which drink? The camera must know! Oh, that one!


The Fierce Kitty Cat
Rooooowwrrr! You’re a jungle cat on the prowl. You’re playful, yet dangerous. You may pounce at any second! Watch out!Rooooowwrrr!


I’m Too Sexy For This Picture
The camera loves you. It lusts after you. And why shouldn’t it, you sex kitten you. The secret of hitting this pose properly is assuming your grandmother will never ever get her hands on the photo.


Putting It All Together
Don’t be afraid to mix your signals, as it can tell a story: “You da man! Also, you can fuck off. But, you know, in the end, it’s all good.”