If you are reading MDM, you are probably already a brother of mine. Here I urge you to spread your faith. We have many enemies. The best way to make disciples of them is to dispel any misconceptions they might have about our faith. Such as:

“Alcohol does not make life better.”
Alcohol is a healing medicine, but in order to benefit from it you have to let the alcohol heal you. There is an expression: “Crying in his beer.” Any man who has ever cried in his beer was not appreciating what was before him: a beer! He was wasting an opportunity to forget his problems and experience elation.

If you don’t already have a healing ritual, let me share mine with you: take a glass of something you enjoy (I prefer gin and tonic), and visualize that your problems are snakes on the floor. As you sip, you will notice that your snakes slither under the door, away from you. Keep sipping until all your problems are gone.

If you still don’t believe that alcohol makes life better, I will prove it to you scientifically with an simple experiment. Clean your house room by room (if you do not live in a dwelling with rooms, MDM will provide my address and you can come clean mine). Wash dishes, vacuum floors, etc. When you’re done, make a record of how much fun you had. The next time your house is dirty, do the same except this time start out with a bottle of beer and give yourself a beer between rooms. It’s fun! It’s rewarding! If nothing else, at least you’re not sober! Life is better.


“Alcohol destroys families.”

Alcohol never destroys families. The family that drinks together, bonds together and stays together. If a family falls apart, it’s usually the fault of the non-drinker.

Consider this scenario: A husband drinks. The wife (a non-drinker) gets upset with the husband. It is the non-drinker feeling ill will toward the drinker that is creating the dissension. It is the sober wife who is on the path of animosity that will surely lead to a break-up of the family. If she would just cool out and have a brew there would be perfect harmony and joy and one other person who could make a run to the liquor store.

A common complaint is, my dad used to get drunk and abuse me. The alcohol did not abuse anyone. Let’s focus on the problem. If the family suffered, it was because of abuse, not alcohol. Abuse is the deep issue that needs to be addressed. Addressing alcohol will solve nothing. Unless you’re talking about actually putting an address on some alcohol, and if that’s the case, MDM will, once again, provide you with my address.


“Drinking is a sin.”

Anyone who claims that drinking is unbiblical has never really read his or her Bible. Jesus Christ’s first recorded miracle was creating large quantities of alcohol for the thristy, turning mere water into what I bet was a really good burgundy. Some say that this ‘wine’ was simply grape juice. If you read further in the account, however, (John 2:1-11) you will notice the head of the wedding feast recognizes the intoxicating properties of wine. He probably slapped Jesus on the back and said, “This is one hell of a burgundy. What’re you doing next weekend?”

Paul said, in Timothy 5:23 “Do not drink water any longer, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent cases of sickness.”

Isaiah compared wheat beer to silver, and my favorite scripture is Proverbs 31:7: “Let one drink and forget one’s poverty, and remember one’s own trouble no more.”


“Alcohol is unhealthy.”

Well, some people just have their heads up their asses and need a good punch in the teeth. True, no one likes throwing up in the toilet or having liver failure, that’s why it’s important to find a happy medium. Finding your happy medium is part of the fun of drinking. Last week at a company dinner I came to the great realization that twelve beers and a large bottle of vodka are not my happy medium.

In conclusion, alcohol brings out the best in everyone. Alcohol can make a weak man mighty. I’ve seen the smallest of men stand up to their greatest foes with a bit of the old dutch courage. Alcohol brings out the love. I can’t tell even my best friend that I love him unless I’m wasted (and it helps if he’s cleaning up my vomit.) And let’s face it, even the ugly chicks get love when there’s plenty of booze.
So spread the love, keep the faith, and pass the bottle.

The Reverend Bob Werner

Previous articleDrunkard of the Issue July 02: Andi Ayers
Next articleBoozing For Love in All the Wrong Faces