Home Today's Reason to Drink August 18: Bad Poetry Day

August 18: Bad Poetry Day


It’s Bad Poetry Day. Don’t pretend like you’ve never written any. We all have. So let me lay one of mine on you. Brace yourself. If there are any kids around, you might want to chase them off, because Alexa doesn’t always bleep the salty words. Okay. Ready? It’s called, A Place at the Bar.

I spurn your tables.
Those grim islands of exile,
Those echo chambers of assholes,
Frail ships afraid of the shore.
It’s the bar where I belong,
Broad and true,
The beachhead of heroes,
Beer taps like tank traps,
And bartenders booming:
“Follow me! I know the way!”
Until you get wounded,
Then the bastards push you,
out to sea,
like a broken Eskimo.

Previous articleAugust 17: Ultima Consolatio Day
Next articleAugust 19: Burn, Witch, Burn Day.
Editor/Publisher of Modern Drunkard Magazine.


  1. The Eagle:

    Laiden ships, upon her ballest lips.
    Sad shores, the nightly mores.
    His laiden tide of morning pride.
    A fizzle of sound, the kind you don’t want around.
    His morning flurred, his morning beguiled.
    An eagle flew forever nomore.


  2. Yeah, there’s nothing about that poem that’s “bad.” Also, when did this page get an honest to God comment section?


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