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Hello! My Name is Pancho

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My Name Is Pancho

Hello! My name is Pancho.
I have come to spit up on your carpet.

Hello! My name is Pancho
These are my friends. They like your beer,
And have come to spit up on your carpet.

Hello! My name is Pancho
These are not my friends. But they like your beer, too.
And they will become your friends.
And spit up on your carpet.

Hello! My name is Pancho
These also are not my friends. Yet they, too, like your beer.
And they will happily spit up on your carpet.
(And they have boils).

Hello! My name is Pancho.
Oh, there’s one of my other friends!
His name is Manuel. Besides your beer he also likes shag tobacco.
And he will spit up often on your shag carpet.
(Did I forget to mention he is a leper?)

Hello! My name is Pancho
This is my pregnant girlfriend, Belinda.
She also, by some remarkable coincidence,
Likes to drink large amounts of your beer.
Also she enjoys spitting up on your carpet.
(Oh my! She seems to have helped herself to a
generous portion of your dog, Fluffy!)

Hello! My name is Pancho
Along with Belinda is her sister, Large Emma.
She is famous for her gargantuan thighs.
She, too, wants to drink lots of your beer.
And at a moment’s notice may spit up on your carpet.
(Note the red area from chafing.)

Hello! My name, for those who missed it, is Pancho.
What a surprise! Here comes my old friend, “Wild Man”.
He does not wash. This is a fact of which he is most proud.
Nevertheless, he, too, wishes to drink all of your well earned beer.
And will indeed derive much pleasure from spitting up on the
remaining clean area of your bright freshly-shampooed carpet.
(Isn’t it amazing how you can tell all he has eaten in the past week?)

Hello! My name, if you haven’t noticed, is most definitely Pancho.
Such a stroke of luck! More of my friends have decided to drop in for a visit!
They also will be pleased as punch to consume immense quantities of your cold beer.
I will not mention what else they will do.
(One small hint: it involves your carpet and their digestion).

Hello! What is my name, you ask? Why, naturally, it is Pancho!
This is my little sister Gertrude, a member of the Nazi party. She is often mistaken for farm animals (mainly cattle and pigs) But perhaps she will look better after downing a certain amount of your fresh chilled beer.
And perhaps, before she leaves, she will find time to relieve her nausea on your delightfully soggy carpet. (Please do not comment on the fact that one of her buttocks is larger than the other, as she is a trifle sensitive).

Hello! My name is . . . what’s that? Why you are absolutely right! It is Pancho!
These people whom you see now are not my friends at all. However, when I mentioned to them your cold beer,
They decided to come along.
Also, in return for light conversation, they will wholeheartedly spit up on your carpet.
(Note: Avoid the hairy one squatting in the corner, as he does enjoy the taste of human flesh).

Hello! My name is . . . well, since we are such good friends, you can call me Pancho.
These are my two illegitimate children, Panchita and Panchito. They are still somewhat young to be drinking your expensive imported beer, but if you were to give them some warm milk, I am sure they would be proud to spit it up on your plush designer carpet.
(Oh, my! Has little Panchito soiled himself again?)

Hello! Can you guess my name? My, you are quick!
Pancho it is!
I have found some fat men in the alley behind my house.
Naturally the conversation turned to your beer.
They also expressed a definite interest in spitting up on this very carpet of yours.
(I do hope they haven’t eaten any more beans.)

Hello! My name is Pancho.
This is my friend Carlos, to whom I owe a large sum of money.
He sells beer and cleans carpets.