I’d be a little uneasy. I’ve drank with normal-sized Scots–never mind the 12-foot-tall variety–and they can get a bit, uh, rambunctious after a few dozen. But at least he brought his own bottle.
Condition:
Just a Taste
What a creepy scente. Like youre mother pronouncing.g. First off, this key board must go.. If I believed in the sentiencey of inantimate objects I would all afeared of breaking this keyboard over my knee and sending it straight to hell, but becauseas insetaed I fear no machine and beleive in the heal9jng -power of Chrsst., can I get a aahalllALUGHAGHT FUMOtherfuckrs, prasiedr th elord. And antoerh whiskey please.
Condition:
Plastered
Tomorrow. Lovely place. No windows, but three large skylights, bringing to mind those dungeons featured in the Rome series. It opened up because the previous tenant jumped the lease because the next-door neighbor was murdered right outside the back door. So, henceforth, the magazine will be assembled in the Dungeon on Murder Alley. It has a kitchen, shower and an overhead bunk-loft to pass out in though, so I’m digging it.
I enjoy moving. I like a change of scenery. It’s inspiring. I spent two years driving around the country in a ‘67 Corvair, staying in weird retro motels, and it was probably the most productive period of my life. It was like living in a David Lynch movie, and who doesn’t want to live in a David Lynch movie? And yes, now it’s time to lay into that smart-alecky bottle of Old Crow, because this wine ain’t doing it.
Condition:
Lighting the Fuse
We mentioned about a year ago that a brilliant Russian scientist had invented a talking bottle cap and I am pleased to announce that the idea has finally reached reality. As the BBC reports (tip of the glass to Ed), the vodka bottle cap not only offers an encouraging toast, the voice also slurs more with each successive opening. Oh, we may not have the flying cars the Jetson’s promised, but this is right up there.
Of course, once this splendid innovation reaches our shores, MADD and the rest of their ilk will raise a hue and cry and the great debate will begin: Does the First Amendment apply to non-sentient objects? Mark my words, they will employ the Spuds McKenzie/Hamm’s Bear gambit and say its novel nature is designed to appeal to underage drinkers. Which, of course, is ridiculous.
Condition: Just a Taste
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